How it Feels to Have a Missionary Son

July 11,2013

Today marks one year that Scott has been serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  One year of service is left.  A girlfriend said to me in the days just after he left that the time flies by for everyone but the mother.  I have to be honest and say that the time has flown by for me as well.  I think about him, pray for him, and watch the weather in Florida every day and still I can't believe that it's already been a year.

Having a son on a mission comes with a mixture of emotions.  Shortly after he left, Matt and I were out together in search of a restaurant.  I was looking at the Google map on my phone and zoomed in to see a baseball diamond.  I just started crying.  I cried because I was missing him so much and I just wanted to talk with him, I wanted to hear his voice and his laughter.  I wanted to know what he was struggling with, what made him excited, and what his daily life was like.  I felt really lonely.  I think the baseball field was a tangible reminder of everything I've tried to do for him.  It represented all the hours I've watched him, cheered him, and played with him.  It's where I spent hours crying over him, praying for him, laughing with him and loving him.  It seems that even though my heart beats within my own breast, it actually resides in the members of my family.  To have my heart so far removed and so silent, was a very empty feeling.  Everyday I stand at my kitchen sink and look into the backyard.  I can see him running and playing, it brings tears to my eyes.  I think what I miss the most though, is just talking with him.

Having a son on a mission is the greatest experience.  It's amazing to see the growth each week as he writes home.  I can't believe how strong and steady he has become.  I suppose it should be a relief to know that he won't need me for everything, but there was something wonderful about the day he arrived and was completely dependent upon me.  But letting go is actually not difficult, it is a joyful experience.  It's wonderful to feel confident in his faith and devotion.  It's inspiring to hear him working hard and inviting me to do the same.  It's nice to know that in spite of my parenting, he will be successful.  That thought gives me confidence as a mother.  I am so glad to be the mother of a missionary.  I am so grateful for his example and desires.  There isn't anything else in the world I would want him to be doing right now.

I'm looking forward to the next 12 months.