This is the first book I've read about Internet P. I'm not one to take a book to my Bishop or Young Men leaders and say "You have to read this", but I'm thinking about it after finishing this book and feeling the weight of responsibility we have in safeguarding our children. I know that I'm not an expert in the field and so I don't feel like I can judge the credibility of this book, but I do see that the author, Mark B. Kastleman, is quoted often in other articles regarding this subject. A number of years ago when serving in the Young Women's organization I met regularly with our Bishop and was surprised at how adamantly he claimed that Internet P was a serious problem, in our ward with both the youth and the adults. I've been hearing for years from leaders and General Authorities about this problem but honestly haven't done much research on the subject. But after reading this book I have a vastly different outlook on the subject, and it will be a serious concern in our home.
I know that obedience should be main reason for us doing/avoiding something. But I appreciated the scientific explanations in this book regarding two things - first, that P is chemically addictive and second, the reasons why any type of intimate relationship outside of marriage is dangerous and damaging. It's not that I need a scientific reason for my obedience but it has given me insights I hadn't considered before and has given me tremendous incentive to protect my family.
Of course, the prime demographic group being targeted by the P industry is young males from ages 12-17. My boys are right there and while I think they are great kids - the P industry, according to this book, is doing everything it can to get to these kids. Even with constant vigilance there is every likelihood that they will be exposed to some form of P. In fact, they already see so much on TV commercials, billboards, music etc. and of course, they are naturally curious. The P industry is also targeting young women and really no age is immune from their marketing ploys.
Four points about Internet P are that it is:
1. accessible
2. affordable
3. anonymous
4. aggressive
I've thought about these points before, but this book has given me some ideas of how I can teach my children about the harmful effects of P when the world says that something you do in your own home that doesn't hurt anyone else is OK, even normal.
I think some of the other lessons I will take from this book include:
1. Being careful about the "computer example" I set for my children. I need to evaluate how much time they see me on the computer. I certainly would rather have them outside playing ball, reading a book or talking with neighbors than sitting in front of the computer, so I need to be sure to model that for them.
2. Taking the time to develop close relationships with each child. I love being with my children but I can always do more to draw them closer to me. Also, keeping them occupied with good things from study to service there is always so much more that I can do.
3. Making a greater effort to nurture my own marriage, which includes spending more time together, sometimes saying no to others, and helping to keep us focused on our needs and responsibilities at home.
4. Continuing to have family prayer, scriptures and home evening.
I just read a talk by Sister Beck given to the Seminaries and Institues last Fall. She reitterates the point that youth today do not want to get married because of the examples of marriages around them. Indeed, this is most likely very true. Even if a couple remains together, love does not always abound. So I want my marriage to look fun, satisfying and desirable. It already is all of those things, I just want to keep it that way.
I would recommend this book to everyone, young and old. Even if you think you're safe from P, if you have a grandchild visiting you must protect your computer.
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